January 18, 2025, 8:59 am | Read time: 6 minutes
PETBOOK author Manuela Lieflaender is getting back into the saddle after 20 years. But this is fraught with difficulties because Manuela doesn’t have a horse of her own. Being an adult with an unfamiliar animal under the watchful eye of the new stable community demands a lot from her, so much so that she sought help from Insa Schülzke, an emotional coach specializing in anxiety riders.
I had envisioned my return to horseback riding with such fondness. But two kilometers before my destination, I tighten my grip on the steering wheel. What am I really doing here? Perhaps I should just drive home. The road winds its way through a wintry landscape, bare trees lined up like silent sentinels. My car creeps along the asphalt, and with each new signpost, I contemplate whether I should simply turn back. A town sign passes by, followed by an unassuming wooden sign marked “Reitstall.”
Doubts Begin to Gnaw at Me
I think of Coco again, the big horse I recently gave up. It was the right decision, I’m sure of it. But why do I feel so bad? Doubts are beginning to gnaw at me. Could it be that I no longer have the patience it takes to grow with a horse? That I’m no longer ready to fully commit to it?
My gaze lands on the cellphone resting on the passenger seat. It displays the classified ad featuring Fly, the five-year-old Icelandic horse who has captivated my thoughts since I first saw the listing. Small, attractive, straightforward – that’s how the ad described him. Maybe he’s exactly what I need. Or perhaps I’m once again getting ahead of myself. As the stable gate finally comes into view, I hesitate, feeling my heart thumping in my throat. I then inhale deeply, engage the gear, and whisper to myself, “Okay. Here we go.”
The First Encounter
Fly is even more beautiful than I imagined. And Anne, his owner, meets me with a pleasant calmness. There are no tests of the ‘Show me what you can do’ variety. She passes me the halter, and together, we retrieve Fly from the pasture. Our stroll through the field is serene and straightforward. I am thrilled. For the first time in ages, I experience a sense of inner joy. As Anne finally consents to my caring for Fly, I struggle to hold back tears.
But the euphoria is dampened. On my next visit, I’m alone with Fly for the first time – and the insecurity strikes. Even during the drive to the stable, I feel hurried despite having ample time. The darkness falls early outside, and I wish to take a walk. Yet, am I even permitted to do so? Anne last spoke about the groundwork. Does she not trust me?
The Moment of Truth
Fly seems to sense my inner restlessness immediately. He challenges me within just a few meters. He wants to take a different route to me. I hold firm, yet doubts creep in about whether to proceed. Eventually, I turn back. This is for the best, I tell myself. Instead, I practise the lead training in the hall that a riding instructor had shown me a few days earlier.
Yet, I feel equally out of place at the stable. Two riders instruct me at the entrance; others look at me skeptically. Every fiber of my being screams for the comfort of home. But I cannot. I refuse to give up. In the arena, I realize how much I still have to learn. Fly reflects my insecurity, executing the exercises on his own terms. Sometimes I can’t get him to move and I feel ashamed. For myself. For what I perceive as my own incompetence.
A New Beginning
On the way home, my thoughts are racing. Have I overwhelmed Fly? Or myself? The yearning to do it “right” bears down on me. But then I realize that maybe it’s not about getting everything perfect right away. Perhaps this journey is precisely what I need to focus on in my personal growth.
I begin to delve into mental training, learning about insecurities and how to build confidence. I understand more and more: Fly is not just a horse. He also serves as a reflection of my own inner turmoil. And if I wish to grow alongside him, I must first begin with myself.
Horse Brings Fears to the Surface
I find Insa Schülzke on Instagram. She has spent 25 years as an emotion coach specializing in riders with anxiety. I tell her my story on the phone and find out that many adult riders are struggling with similar problems:
“Many women riders frequently assess their anxiety as being in the middle range on a scale from 1 to 10. They say: ‘I only have a problem in certain situations, otherwise I’m fine’. Yet, this often represents an escape from reality.” It requires honesty with oneself: Am I evading the fear? I frequently observe that certain fears weave like a red thread through the lives of my clients, yet they tend to suppress them. “The horse resurfaces these fears, presenting us with the opportunity to address them.”
Dog psychologist Dog Psychologist Would Advise Everyone to Spend the Bight in Nature with Their Dog
Controversially Discussed Is Horse Riding Considered Animal Cruelty? An Expert Weighs In
Tips & Training How to correctly train the rider’s seat and why it is important for the horse
Insa’s 5 Steps to Personal Growth with a Horse:
1. Keep a Diary to Enhance Self-Reflection
Record what went well in training and what was less good. Ask yourself: “Can I solve this myself, or do I need support?”
2. Utilize a Feeling Scale Ranging from 1 to 10
How did the training feel today? Observe this mood neutrally, without judging it.
3. Cultivate Mindfulness During Moments of Anxiety
Pay attention to when anxiety arises and the mental movie starts. If something worked well, ask yourself: “Why did it work? What was different?”
4. Harness Positive ‘Wow’ Moments
When the fear is there, remember a moment when you had a sense of achievement. Mentally immerse yourself in this feeling.
5. Visualize Scenarios with an ‘If, Then’ Strategy
Imagine possible situations that trigger insecurity and think of solutions: “When the arena is full, I take a deep breath.” “If I have to correct my horse, I’ll stay calm and relaxed.” Write these scenarios down and mentally run through them again and again.
The 5 steps are a basis for self-coaching and personal development. However, should your anxiety rank at 7 or above on a scale from 1 to 10, these self-coaching techniques may not suffice. In such cases, it is important to get targeted support from outside – for example, through coaching with an experienced expert. An external professional perspective aids in identifying deeper blockages and addressing them over the long haul.
Follow Manu and her foster horse Fly on Instagram pferde_wiedereinsteigerin