March 27, 2025, 9:19 am | Read time: 3 minutes
Many women dream of starting riding again after years of not having done so. But doubts and fears often get in the way. PETBOOK author Manuela Lieflaender took on this challenge herself — and got to know Malu Abbink in the process.
Malu Abbink is a psychologist and riding instructor with a special focus: she helps people to get back into riding, especially if they are afraid. She spoke to PETBOOK about inner blockages, the right riding instructor, and why perfectionism doesn’t get us anywhere in the saddle.
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PETBOOK: Malu, why is it so difficult for many people to get back into riding?
Malu Abbink: “As children, we are impartial. We don’t think about what might happen — we just ride. It’s different for adults. Our brains are fully developed, and we are more aware of dangers. Then there are past experiences: Perhaps there was once a fall or a riding instructor who made you feel like you weren’t good enough. That can leave a deep impression.”
I’ve often heard: “If you’re scared, riding isn’t the right hobby for you.” What do you say to that?
“Honestly? That’s nonsense! Fear is a natural protective mechanism. It’s important that it doesn’t take control. You can learn to deal with it. I often tell my students: Imagine your fear is a little monster sitting on your shoulder. You can take it with you — but you decide when it can step back.”
How can I get rid of my fear in the saddle?
“The first step is to accept it. Then, it’s about slowly building up your confidence again. This can start with simply sitting in the pasture or paddock and observing horses. After that, you can try ground work. And only when you feel confident should you get back on — and on a well-trained, relaxed horse.”
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As a new rider, you put yourself under a lot of pressure. You want to do everything right. Why is that?
“Perfectionism is a big issue. We have internalized that we have to do everything ‘right’ — especially when we have a lot of responsibility at work or in everyday life. But riding is not a competitive sport if you don’t make it one. It’s about the feeling, the connection with the horse. And that doesn’t come from pressure, but from trust.”
What is your most important tip for anyone who wants to get back in the saddle?
“Don’t compare yourself with others! Everyone has their own pace. Find a trainer you feel comfortable with and a horse that gives you confidence. And remember why you’re doing this: because you love horses. Getting back into riding is not a sprint — but if you take it in small steps, it will eventually feel natural again.”